When failure is not really failure…

For the third time this week, I had to throw away bad meat. What is GOING ON?!

I am taking a step back, reviewing what is different. I realize a new skill began using my bandwidth this week:

I am learning how to teach my daughter not to shame herself for her limitations.

😳

My older daughter has health issues. Less-than-stellar eating habits that others might tolerate just fine can put her in the hospital. Every day we carefully monitor her water intake, diet, and bathroom habits, because even one day of mommy not paying enough attention can set us back a whole week of damage control and possibly a visit to the ER.

Right now, this sweet six year old is learning to ride a bike without training wheels. She also took on the job of tidying the living room every day in exchange for a nickel. She is so proud every day when she comes to let me know she did her job and would like 5 cents please. She is so excited that she has no training wheels! She loves the new school book we started this week.

And through angry tears, she shares her frustration, that, “of course,” her body is having problems again. and she is ashamed of it.

She felt that, because she knows HOW to prevent problems, failing to do so made her naughty or deficient in some way – like it’s her fault. A month ago we were doing so good!

So today we talked about the normal cycle of 1) learning a skill, 2) practicing that skill to gain mastery, and 3) excelling in the skill.

Phase 1 is fun. It’s fun to learn a skill. Phase 3 is fun! Mastery brings such confidence and pride in a new skill!

Phase 2 is aweful.

It’s full of frustration. Why? Because so much bandwidth goes to the practice of a new skill, that regression in other areas is common. It’s perfectly normal.

The truth is, this little girl is more aware of proper eating habits than I had ever been. Even as an adult. Because, for her, it’s the difference between a week of functional school days, and – well, nearly a week of just managing her health and little else. Focusing on healthy habits is a skill. And it’s one that took priority over many others in her young life.

So this morning, I wiped away more tears and let her in on a secret. Because she learned to ride a bike this week AND began a new school book, means some things are hard to remember right now. Soon she will master her new talents and skills. Then, it will be easier to remember everything she learned before about preventing health problems WHILE doing new things.

It’s okay to feel frustrated. It drives us to make a change that will help us not forget next time. Shame is out of place in this situation, though. Shame only helps when we didn’t see the value in making an effort, and experience failure as a consequence of not caring. Shame is meant to correct apathy.

Failure as a result of practicing a new skill is not failure at all. It’s simply another step to mastery.

This would be the moment in which my 8-year-old son brought my attention back to the burning sausage. (Good job, buddy).

Which is why, for the first time this week, I am not going to beat myself up for having to throw away inedible meat. I’m not proud that it happened. But, it’s a sign of something good. I’m learning the skill of helping my little girl master a healthy self-image. And my son is learning how to prevent kitchen fires. Win-win.

The Bare Minimum…

Moments of actual silence are so rare when you have small kids. I don’t remember how to sit comfortably in silence anymore. Completing a task (or a sentence) is often difficult, and “hearing myself think” is a skill I’ve lost in the constant chatter of a preschooler’s conversation.

And yet, this has its benefits. It’s evidence that these little ones want to be around me, and they are interested in connecting with me. For them, no matter how busy the day will be for me, the bare minimum of my attention is something they absolutely require every day. But, it’s not really enough – they crave the rest of my time and attention, too. And that’s a good thing. It’s evidence of a thriving relationship.

I usually know what my kids are thinking – because we spend time together. They talk. They react. I know what bothers them, excites them, frightens them, or confuses them. There is a nearly constant stream of verbal and non-verbal communication between us. And the teaching moments basically never stop.

For instance, when an argument breaks out between my kids and they run to me with their complaints, I can usually point out the root of the argument and use it to expand their understanding of how life works. I often announce the “word of the day” based on what challenge they need to overcome at the moment.

One such example occurred when Silas became upset because Olivia had not read his mind and played the way he wanted her to. She later said she would have been willing, but hadn’t known what he had expected. So she became upset that Silas was upset, and the row had ensued.

Our word for that day was “assumption,” so I could explain that it’s never a good idea to assume someone knows what you want. And you certainly can’t get upset at them for not knowing it if you didn’t take time to communicate.

As a parent, these moments are critical to prepare them for the future, when the challenges they face will only grow more complex. I wouldn’t push away their arguments, or make them feel like their issues aren’t important, for the world. Because they need me! 

They need my help to develop the skill of problem-solving and conflict-resolution now, so they can function independently later.

It’s a ton of work, but I’m so proud of them when they grow from these experiences. I’m even more proud when I overhear them sharing what they’ve learned with someone else.

Surely it’s the same for God when He watches His children grow.

But this makes me wonder: what would happen if my kids never spoke to me? Never came to me with their problems, or only ever complained without taking instruction from me? Even worse, what if my kids not only refused to spend time with me, but actually never acknowledged me at all?

Here I am, their parent. A fountain of knowledge and experience compared to what they have gained from their brief half-decade on this earth.

I am THE single, most available, beneficial resource for figuring out life’s lessons without having to graduate the School of Hard Knocks. And they just…ignore me.

Maybe they eat in their room, instead of at the dinner table. You could say that the bare minimum for acknowledging what I do for them would be to spend THAT time with me and act like they appreciate our relationship and be engaging.

Maybe they don’t want bedtime snuggles or fireside chats.

Years go by, and from experience, I would be able to surmise many of their struggles. But they don’t see any benefit to discussing them with me.

I want to celebrate their victories with them! But they brush off my words of congratulations as they walk in the door, go to their room, and jump on Facebook to share with the world… and continue to decline offers to include me in their lives.

The teen years pass and they become adults, and even parents themselves. But, they insist on pretending I’m not even here, and my heart is broken as they suffer from not knowing how to handle situations, becoming more and more frustrated. They lack the experience to help them avoid so many unnecessary pitfalls that make life harder than it has to be.

Perhaps some would say, “You should have been more assertive as a parent!” Yet we know from observing different families, that doesn’t always help. Sometimes, a loving, well-meaning parent who wants to engage their aloof child is met with defensiveness, not openness.

This begs the question – aren’t parents entitled to more of their kids’ time and attention than “the bare minimum?” By that, I mean to say, if the only time your kids noticed you was in an emergency, and maybe not even then, how would you feel?

Rejected? Unappreciated?

You brought them into this world, for heaven’s sake! Kept them alive when they were ENTIRELY helpless, nurturing their growth, and helped them get well when they were ill or injured!

You prepared a table of food, sitting there with an open heart, ready to hear about your child’s day, making yourself available to them for dialogue or just to enjoy being together.

3 times a day. At least.

Because you know they need it. They need encouragement when they have done well, and correction when they have not. They need comfort when they struggle and company when they are lonely. They can’t provide any of this input for themselves – it’s what family does! So you try to be there for them.

Such a small thing, communing over a meal. But it’s so tremendously needed so you can encourage them, educate them, comfort them through some heartaches and maybe spare them from others. And you need to be appreciated by them. But what if your children couldn’t even bring themselves to take advantage of this one thing, this special time of appreciating your relationship?

MANY DO NOT REALIZE…

…this is exactly how they treat their Heavenly Father.

Here are commonly asked questions regarding attendance of times of worship with the church.

“Is it a sin for me to not attend worship?”

The real question is: Is it too much to ask? For the Christian, this is the bare minimum of interaction as a family with His other children, getting all those inputs we can not provide for ourselves of comfort, correction, encouragement, and education. Beyond this, it’s a means of bringing God glory. It’s an expression to the world of your appreciation for the Savior’s sacrifice, a needed time of being filled with the Spirit, and evidence that a growing relationship with your Father is a priority for you.

“What’s in it for me if I give up my only morning to sleep in? What is the benefit of attending worship?”

God essentially has said, “If someone chooses the path to destruction, they literally do so over my dead body.” That’s intense.** Christ gave Himself as the sacrifice to deter you from destruction, and to grant you life instead of eternal torment. You have the benefit of centering your mind on that fact every week in the memorial of the Lord’s supper, in the songs, in the sermon, in prayer, and in your interactions with God’s children. It puts life into such clear perspective.

“I just don’t get anything out of it when I go.”

Then practice centering your mind on the purpose for being there. Beyond this, you’ll see what you get out of it only after a consistent habit is formed and you have had a chance to grow over time by practicing what you learn as the opportunities arise.

“If it’s all about God, then what DO I get out of it?”

Not much if the only thing you do is show up to be physically there without engaging with your mind and heart, and then leave. That’s not even the bare minimum He has asked of His children.

You see, over time, what you absorb from being with the church and worshiping God in neutral moments of your life will be your foundation for surviving times of turbulence. The relationship you develop with your family and with your Father will save you the trouble of going through struggles alone. It will discourage you from depending on people who are lost, who have themselves decided to go it alone, learning life’s lessons the hard way.

God, in His wisdom, for our benefit, has demanded His children have a commitment, not to “being religious,” but to being a faithful member of His church. You will stunt the growth of your relationship with Him and forfeit the aforementioned benefits if this is not a priority. A priceless resource that would help you navigate life’s ups and downs will remain untapped.

So what’s a girl to do?

Give God glory. Show Him appreciation. Sacrifice a morning of sleeping in or scrolling social media. Face the struggle to get kids out the door to worship, even if you have to do it alone – because their precious hearts need the benefits just as much as you do! It’s so worth it. Your kids deserve to begin learning as early as possible, that Jesus died for them, too. And God deserves their recognition and attention as much as He deserves yours.

Rather than begrudging God the attention and honor He deserves in this thing He has commanded, let’s change our attitude about meeting with the church and worshiping Him. Let it be a “get to,” not a “have to.”

Our challenge is to recognize that those brief hours on the first day of the week truly are not “the whole duty of man,” but instead the bare minimum. May we never settle for doing – or refuse to do – the bare minimum for our God. Let’s do it with joy. And look for more to do for His glory. Make it a priority to show up, ready to learn, grow, share, and express our appreciation for all to see.

What follows is a guide to marking your Bible with verses that you can memorize to help you grow in your understanding of this topic, or to help someone else who is struggling with their commitment to the church.

Beyond what we already mentioned from an emotional mother’s point of view, what does the Bible say about the Christian’s commitment to the church?

Colossians 1:17-18 – “He [Christ] is before all things and in Him all things hold together. He is also the Head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.”

Ephesians 2:19-22 – “So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

1 Corinthians 12:14-27 – This section is long, but it labors the point and it’s message is worth reading: You are a needed part of the church!!! God has said so, and you can’t argue that it’s not true. Don’t deny the church a necessary “body part.” Be there for the church. Do the work you can do. No one can replace you!

Finally, John 15:8 – “My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples.”

What other benefits come from a commitment to the church? What other Scriptures talk about this aspect of being a Christian? Feel free to share in the comments below!

Thanks for reading!

**Credit: Kyle Butt, Apologetics Press – “A Loving God, and an Eternal Hell.”

A Girl After God’s Own Heart – Reality check!

What kind of a heart is God looking for?  Our words and actions demonstrate who we really are inside, and I was very struck by this section of Scripture – especially by the last part.  How do I choose to use my mouth, my tongue, my heart, my prayers – me?  To honor God, or to say “it’s my life, I’ll do what I want,” one or the other.

In Psalm 66, the inspired writer says,

Shout joyfully to God, all the earth;

Sing the glory of His name;

Make His praise glorious.

Say to God, “How awesome are your works!

Because of the greatness of Your power Your enemies will give feigned obedience to You.

All the earth will worship You,

And they will sing praises to You;

They will sing praises to Your name.  Selah.

That word Selah directs the reader/listener to pause and think about what has just been said.  So let’s do it. Notice that he instructs all of creation to praise God and declare the awesomeness of His works.  Even those who do not actually love God have to give the appearance of obedience because there is no mistaking His power.  Even the most apathetic, unconcerned individual will make an appeal to their Maker when they find themselves in a really bad situation because they know He’s the only One who can help them.  Reality check #1: Does God only come to mind when I’m in a mess and need help, or am I continually talking about how awesome His works are regardless of my circumstances?

Come and see the works of God,

Who is awesome in His deeds toward the sons of men.

He turned the sea into dry land;

They passed through the river on foot;

There let us rejoice in Him!

He rules by His might forever;

His eyes keep watch on the nations;

Let not the rebellious exalt themselves.  Selah.

There it is again – Selah.  So let’s recap.  God has been awesome in His deeds toward mankind.  No question there – the writer brings to mind the account of the exodus as an example: over 2 million ex-slaves loaded with the wealth of the Egyptians made it safely to the other side of the Red Sea because God acted on their behalf (Exodus 1-15).  Even the godless nations who were to be conquered by said ex-slaves shook in their boots at the mention of God and His people because of this amazing event (Joshua 2:9-11).  Because of this, the writer says, “Let not the rebellious exalt themselves.”  Reality check #2: Do the historical events recorded in the Bible give me a better understanding of the immense power and purpose of the Almighty God, or am I the sum of all things in my own sight?

Bless our God, O peoples,

And sound His praise abroad,

Who keeps us in life

And does not allow our feet to slip.

For You have tried us, O God;

You have refined us as silver is refined.

You brought us into the net;

You laid an oppressive burden upon our loins.

You made men ride over our heads;

We went through fire and through water,

Yet You brought us out into a place of abundance.

I shall come into Your house with burnt offerings;

I shall pay You my vows,

Which my lips uttered

And my mouth spoke when I was in distress.

I shall offer to You burnt offerings of fat beasts,

With the smoke of rams;

I shall make an offering of bulls with male goats.  Selah.

Wow.  This sounds a little extreme – being refined as silver?  Silver refining is a process of using intense heat to bring out and eliminate the impurities in the silver.  Notice that God was acknowledged as being there when these people were struggling!  The writer speaks of being tried by God: God allowed His people to undergo very difficult situations in order to test their resolve to serve Him.  This man cried out to Him and made requests for His help with vows of service.  The end result was that they were brought “into a place of abundance.”  And here is where we see the quality of heart in this person: he did not forget God simply because he was no longer in trouble!  On the contrary, the first thing on His mind is to go to the house of God to offer a sacrifice of worship to Him!  What promises did he make in exchange for God’s help?  Now it was time to honor those promises, and he was anxious to do so.  Reality check #3: Is it my first response to show honor to God when He brings me through a difficult situation, or do I breathe a sigh of relief and go about my life like nothing happened?

And now for my favorite part:

Come and hear, all who fear God,

And I will tell of what He has done for my soul.

I cried to Him with my mouth,

And He was extolled with my tongue.

If I regard wickedness in my heart,

The Lord will not hear;

But certainly God has heard;

He has given heed to the voice of my prayer.

Blessed be God,

Who has not turned away from my prayer

Nor His lovingkindness from me.

Now the writer gets personal.  Notice all the personal pronouns: MY soul, MY mouth, MY tongue, MY heart, MY prayer – ME.  This man was practicing what he preached.  He would tell others about his personal experience of the mercy of God.  He also points out that people who insist on harboring wicked intentions can call on God all they want but their prayers will be of no benefit to them.  God looks for a heart that desires to honor Him in word and action… and for a people who will follow through on that desire.  Reality check #4: Can this be said of me?

 

The Origin of David’s Sin: His Birth or His Life?

When babies are born, are they inherently evil, or are they innocent? A baby certainly seems to have a “selfish” nature, and on particularly difficult days we may be tempted to say the little thing has a demon! To some, the Psalms are a source of confusion concerning people and the condition in which they are born. Did David teach the doctrine of “original sin” – or could he even make up his mind about the matter? It is easy to get confused at first glance when reading his writings.  Take the following, for example:

“The wicked are estranged from the womb; These who speak lies go astray from birth.” (Psalm 58:3)

“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me.” (Psalm 51:5)

From other areas of the same book, we get the opposite message.  Notice the interesting comparison:

“Yet you are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother’s breasts. Upon You I have been cast from birth; You have been my God from my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 22:9-10)

“For you are my hope; O Lord God; You are my confidence from my youth. By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; My praise is continually of You.” (Psalm 71:5-6)

If we only looked at these verses, it would seem like the relationship was rather “on/off” between infants and the Lord God. What is the truth of the matter? Are we estranged from God due to wickedness straight from the womb, or are we held close by God from the beginning?

The answer has to come from taking a closer look at the context in which these statements are made: the Psalms. When we look at this book exegetically, we notice many things. One is this book is chalk full of exaggerations. In 69:14, David talks about his troubles being “deep waters,” a “flood,” and a“pit” shutting its “mouth” over him. Wow. This is a dramatic, but accurate accounting for how this man was feeling at the moment. Even in 71:20 he expresses anticipation of God bringing him up “from the depths of the earth.” These things are obviously not literal – the inspired writer is expressing man’s heart using recognizable figurative language.

We have to understand that the Holy Spirit inspired men to write in legitimate, existing literary forms. Poetry is one such form. This is a poetic writing, and it needs to be interpreted as such. Look again at Psalm 51. Verses 1 through 4 give us an immediate context in which to interpret verse 5:

“Wash ME thoroughly from MY iniquity and cleanse ME from MY sin. For I know MY transgressions, and MY sin is ever before ME. Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight.”

Look at all of the possessive pronouns here – David was expressing one thought: I blew it. This was all my fault. When he says he was brought forth in iniquity, he expressed what each of us has felt at one time or another: I can’t do anything right – I’ve been a failure from the beginning! But verses 1-4 help us understand the source of this deep, personal dissatisfaction.  As a man, David had great victories – he also made serious mistakes with serious consequences.  His conscience worked and he was intellectually capable of claiming responsibility for the mess he was in, which is a difficult thing to come to terms with emotionally.

Now that we understand the impact that literary form has on interpreting these Scriptures, let’s broaden our perspective to include a different, more directly insightful kind of literature. Ecclesiastes is classified as “wisdom literature.” In this book, the Preacher has a pessimistic tone, but this is not due to a pricked conscience – it springs from his very accurate observations of life and the doings of men. After analyzing these particular verses from the Psalms, I want us to compare them with the statement found in Ecclesiastes 7:29:

“Behold, I have found only this, that God made men upright, but they have sought out many devices.”

Wow. Way to clear things up for us, Preacher. There is no misunderstanding his point: in this book, we learn God’s definitions of wisdom, accomplishment, folly, and vanity. This particular verse would be the definition of a waste. God creates men in an upright condition. They are born with all the potential in the world to be useful to Him and pleasing. But as we grow, we allow ourselves to be distracted by useless or harmful forms of self-gratification, and we choose to indulge in them instead of living up to our potential.

This is the condition in which we find the Psalmist as he writes his woeful dirge, mourning his innocence.

We need not become confused by this man’s seemingly up-and-down relationship with God. On the contrary – this is a source of personal comfort! When I have “blown it” so severely that it seems like I have been doomed to failure from the start… I can read the Psalms to remind myself that God rescues me, even from myself. There will be good days again – I will acknowledge my sin to Him and rest confidently in the arms of my God once more.

Remember these things as you read David’s words, and turn to the Psalms for comfort when you hit a “road bump” in your walk with God.  The Holy Spirit has proved that He knows what you’re feeling, and He has preserved these words to help you get through.  Hang in there, ladies!

Take Time to be Holy

Do you ever feel like you’re going insane trying to keep up with the hectic world you live in?  Me, too.  As a matter of fact, I start wondering how I went from allowing the Spirit to help me foster love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control to having… an empty tank and fumes.  And it can go from one to the other in a matter of hours.  The world is a tricky place for a Christian to be “in, but not of.”  As a result of having about a week of not much success in this area, I decided I needed to go back to the basics.  How does the fruit of the Spirit grow within us?  We have “crucified the flesh with its passions and desires,” we live by the Spirit, and we walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5:24-25).  But how?  We allow God to guide us by staying rooted in His word and doing what it says, always evaluating our spiritual walk and helping others to do the same.  In keeping with this theme of study, I wanted to share a good supplimental thought.  The following song helped me identify weaknesses in myself and my hope is that it will be as helpful for you. 

Take time to be holy, Speak oft’ with thy Lord;

    Abide in Him always, And feed on His word.

    Make friends of God’s children, Help those who are weak;

    Forgetting in nothing, His blessing to seek.

Take time to be holy, The world rushes on;

    Spend much time in secret With Jesus alone.

    By looking to Jesus, Like Him thou shalt be;

    Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.

Take time to be holy, Let him be thy Guide;

     And run not before Him, Whatever be-tide.

     In joy or in sorrow, Still follow thy Lord;

     And looking to Jesus, Still trust in His word.

Take time to be holy, Be clam in thy soul;

    Each thought and each motive Beneath His control

    Thus lead by His Spirit To fountains of love

    Thou soon shalt be fitted For service above.

“Take Time to be Holy” by William D. Longstaff, 1874

A Lesson from Cain

How does God handle our attempts to honor Him when we’re not quite sure of what He’s expecting from us?  Will we be acceptable as long as we’re sincere?  Let’s take a lesson from a very early example:

In Genesis 4, we are introduced to a man who sought to bring to God something he personally valued.  Cain was a tiller of the ground, in contrast to his brother Abel, who was a keeper of flocks (Genesis 4:3).  The crops brought forth by the sweat of Cain’s brow were the first thing he thought to offer to God.  It makes sense, doesn’t it?  There is debate about whether God had already communicated to them about what He desired in the form of sacrifice.  But one way or the other, this first attempt to please God with what each brother desired to bring Him sheds a lot of light on how God deals with worship attempts that are “right on target” and those that aren’t.

Notice that Cain was the first to bring an offering to the Lord.  He wasn’t trying to “one-up” or compete with his brother – he was sincerely seeking to please the Lord.  It says that the Lord “had regard for Abel and his offering.”  The Hebrew word for “regard” literally means “look toward.”  The offering that Abel gave got God’s attention, as it were.  But it says that “for Cain and for his offering He had no regard.”  Try to picture it in your mind.  God is a parent who is aware that His two children have each come to Him, saying eagerly, “Father, I brought you something!”  Cain arrives first… and God doesn’t look in his direction.  Abel arrives next and God smiles, showing appreciation for the gift.

Wait a minute, though… how is that fair?  If Cain is a tiller of the ground, what does God expect?  Here is the key.  God gives Cain a chance to understand in verses 6 and 7:

‘The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”‘

The reason God did not show appreciation for Cain’s offering is that He desired something else: an offering from the flock.  The neat part about this is that God did not condemn Cain’s offering… He just didn’t accept it.  This becomes very applicable to every generation that would follow Cain: we do not show love for God when we only offer to Him what WE would desire or expect.  We demonstrate true love for God when we take the time to find out what it is HE desires and expects!  What would have happened if Cain had said, “Ooooh, I get it.  Okay, Father!” and came back with an offering of sheep?  This is profound, ladies!  This is why I get frustrated when people say that worshiping with a band up front is simply a matter of our preference, or that we can assemble to worship on Saturday if it’s more convenient for us than on the first day of the week as we find in Scripture. If we do not “do well” (a.k.a. learn from our error instead of continuing in error), sin is sneaking up on us because we are seeking to meet our own expectations and not God’s.  Not a big deal?  What about Cain?  Let’s take a look at Cain’s response and see if we can learn why this is such a big deal:

“Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.” (4:8). 

Why did this happen?  It was the proof: Cain’s first error provided a moment of decision for him.  He could either humble himself and correct his error, choosing to make the necessary changes to honor God, or he could become defensive and not change.  “But why isn’t my offering as good as Abel’s?  That isn’t fair!”  It’s very clear how quickly we become the “victims” when we are not accepted “just as we are.”  When we are expected to make a change, the positive aspect of improvement is forgotten when we choose to look at it with Cain’s attitude.  Notice that God did not reject Cain – His words in verse 6 make this evident: “If you do well, will you not be accepted?”  This is future tense!  God rejected his worship, but was not denying him the opportunity to do the right thing.  Rather, He was showing how willing He was to accept him if he learned from his mistake.

We know the rest of the historical event.  Cain killed his brother Abel.  It was the proof of God’s statement – if we are unwilling to learn from an honest mistake, sin is the next step in the natural progression.  Consider it a practical psychology lesson from God.

This is the lesson: be teachable.  Do not view correction, rebuke, or even gentle reproof as a rejection of who you are.  If we play the victim and choose to remain as we are, we display Cain’s attitude – the attitude that says “This is just the way I am!  I shouldn’t  have to change anything about myself!”  Blatantly refusing to change who we are to conform to our Creator’s expectations is the launch pad for all kinds of sinful behavior.  Attitudes like this are the reason we have so much pain to deal with in the world.  Cain bore a punishment that was painful to him; God pulled everything he cherished out of his life and made him a fugitive.  Eve lost a son, and her words in verse 25 show that Cain’s actions hurt more than just himself: “God has appointed for me another offspring instead of Abel, for Cain killed him.”

We should not be surprised when we learn we are not perfect.  God doesn’t condemn us for not being perfect – the purpose of the Scriptures is to help us identify imperfections so we can correct them.  God helps us in our walk with Him, testifying about when we do the right thing and pointing it out to us when we do not.  Here’s the application: when you read God’s Word and you discover an attitude, action or behavior in your life that is contrary to what you read about God’s expectations, don’t play the victim and get defensive or argumentative!  Choose to make a change.  Be proactive.  Listen to His favorable statements about those who did well.  Choose to imitate them and enjoy the blessing of acceptance.

“By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks.” – Hebrews 11:4

When God Says “Let’s Talk.”

“Keeley, we need to talk. I’ve been telling you to step out of the boat and you’re holding back. Why are you letting the wind and waves deter you? Trust Me, and keep your eyes fixed on Me – I’ll keep you from sinking, but you have to take that first step. I have given you bread to feed those who need it – is it yours to withhold? My wonders will not be seen if you keep the bread in the basket and do not share it. How then will the hungry souls benefit from My Son?  I know it’s tough, but the sons of disobedience must remain in the world until the harvest, and the thorns will continue to be a threat for you – I’m sorry for the struggle thse influences will cause. But in spite of them you must determine not to let yourself become a stumbling block for others disciples, nor let yourself be choked out by the cares of the world. Lose your life. Deny yourself and follow me.” – God (Matthew 13-17)

“Father, I am surprised to learn that I am the one holding the basket! I thought it was Your Son who brought bread to the people – I never saw how important the role of the disciples was in that miracle before.  How would the people have seen the power of Jesus if the disciples had not distributed what they had been given?  Concerning the boat… point taken.  Ok.  I am no longer afraid of the work that has been presented – if that is where You have prepared us to go, we will step out on faith and go.  No more doubts.  The somewhat more comfortable work I had my eye on is no longer my goal if that is not Your will for us.  We are prepared to do the “impossible” with Your help – whatever that entails.  I must admit that the thorns have been an issue; I will tend to the heart problem.  Nothing material will distract me from sharing the Gospel and thriving on the Word you have sown in my heart.  Show me the road, and I will drop everything, die to myself, and follow.” – Keeley

Of Wheat and Tares

In Matthew 13, Jesus makes an interesting comparison between the world in which the church exists, and the frustration of a field full of weeds.  He gives the parable in verses 24-30, then explains it in verses 36-43.  Now, I’m not much of a gardener.  My first attempts at helping my aunt with the chore of weeding her garden were not the most successfully executed.  She has several strawberry plants that, for some strange reason, were being crowded by out-of-place, deeply rooted bits of grass.  These grassy weeds were so close to the strawberry plants that the blades were often intertwined with the strawberry plant’s leaves.  Why couldn’t the weeds be an inch away from the strawberry plants?  Why did they have to be right there?  Frustrated, I did my best to separate them and pull only the roots of the grass plant out, but occasionally I ended up damaging the strawberry plant as well.

Jesus told His disciples that God specifically sowed only good seed in the world, but that someone – an enemy – came and sowed tares in the world to cause problems for the sons of the kingdom (13:38-39).  In His parable, He gave them an image much like the one I described above: God doesn’t separate the good from the bad while they’re growing, because the possibility is that some of the good may be pulled along with the bad.  Think about it; the unrighteous have opportunity to repent and turn to God so long as they are alive.  2 Peter 3:9 tells us that God is patient, “not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.”  So we know why they’re not pulled up right away.  But, what about the strawberry plants?  Do they just have to deal with the discomfort of being crowded by the weeds that threaten to choke the life out of them?

Girls, I don’t know about you, but there have been times when I have wondered how long God expects for me to fight for my spiritual life by keeping myself as far away from bad influences as I can.  It isn’t easy!  The ones in this world who want to bring you down – the promoters of immodesty, sexual immorality and unrighteousness – would love nothing better than for you to give up and become one of them.  But pay close attention to the rest of the story.   Jesus describes to His disciples in verse 40 a vivid image of what will happen to those sons of the evil one: they will be gathered up and burned with fire.  Ouch!  In verse 41-42, He keeps the heat coming for posers who pretend to belong in the strawberry patch: they will be separated out just the same and be thrown into the fire as well. But for those who are sons of the kingdom – legitimate, real disciples that let the good seed take root in their hearts – they will shine forth in the kingdom of their Father (verse 43).  They alone are left to be gathered up by the Father into His kingdom forever.

If we want the benefit of being a child of God, we cannot allow ourselves to be influenced by the world.  The wicked in the world are there on purpose: Satan knew exactly what he was doing when he sowed the bad seed that produced wickedness in the world.  Christians can be fooled into thinking that their involvement in unrighteousness won’t take away their salvation.  But Jesus says the angels have a special job to do at the end of the age – they are to gather out of His kingdom (a.k.a – the church, in this context) that is in the field “all stumbling blocks, and those who commit lawlessness, and throw them into the furnace of fire; in that place where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.”  Don’t be a poser, and don’t let yourself be caught off your guard by the suffocating influence of the world.  Keep your eye on the goal: you WANT to be in the kingdom of the Father, and you want to shine like the sun at the end of time.  You want to be rescued from the weeds that make your life difficult and you don’t want to end up in the same place they do!  She who has ears, let her hear – Are you in the kingdom?

Approaching Almighty God

Have you ever wondered what is going through God’s mind when you approach Him?  How does He perceive your worship?  In Ecclesiastes 5, the Preacher gives us some wonderfully helpful insight regarding the kind of attitude God expects when we come before Him. 

We know that it is our hope in Christ that allows us to come into God’s presence, or to come to Him in our need for mercy and grace (Hebrews 4:16).  Christ Jesus is our high priest, and we need not hesitate to approach Almighty God with our prayers and our praise.  But consider the manner in which you approach Him…

“Guard your steps as you go to the house of God and draw near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools; for they do not know they are doing evil.  Do not be hasty in word or impulsive in thought to bring up a matter in the presence of God.  For God is in heaven and you are on the earth; therefore let you words be few.”  (Ecclesiastes 5:1-2, NASB)

This is huge!  In many denominational circles we find the attitude that says, “Offer God whatever comes to you, whatever you want to give Him – He’ll accept it!”  Their worship is whim-driven.  They trust the words of men because they themselves have not done their homework, haven’t listened to God to find out what He actually wants!  This passage tells us that we need to come to God with the intent of listening – rather than giving Him something we’ve come up with – and letting our obedience to what He has communicated in His Word be our worship.  That’s why He’s been revealing His will since the beginning, so we can know what His will is and obey!  If a person does not consult His Word for understanding, the worship they offer is evil and they don’t even know it – the Preacher isn’t making this up!  God has not left us without any way to know what He wants.  He has provided everything that we need to know.  Peter tells us that “His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.” (2 Peter 1:3)  That means our feelings can’t direct us when it comes to God’s expectations.  Ideas from other people are unacceptable, too.  The Bible is the only authority on the subject, and we must listen to it and gain true knowledge from it.

So the instructions of the Preacher in Ecclesiastes 5:1-2 are as follows:

1. Guard your steps as you go to the house of God: pay attention and do not flippantly approach God.
2. Draw near to listen.
3. Do not be hasty in word and
4. Do not be impulsive in thought: consider attentively any matter you intend to bring up in the presence of God.
5. Let your words be few: Remember your place!

 Some say that for the Christian every moment of every day is worshiping God.  While I see the idea and commend them for seeking to honor God in every part of their life, it is important to understand God’s idea of worship and His expectations of His people when they approach Him.  There is a difference between living each day with a godly attitude and specifically seeking to offer acceptable worship to God.  The only way to do any of it is by finding out what He wants and obeying in humility.  Ladies, Consider what you offer God when you come to worship Him.  Do you come to listen?  What do you offer Him, and does His Word confirm that it is acceptable?  Remember, without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6) and faith comes from hearing the word of Christ (Romans 10:17).  Do your research!  You can almost imagine God say, “Thanks for listening.”

Hunting for the Hidden Treasures

With Easter approaching, I am reminded of our Biblical Exegesis class last semester.  Denny Petrillo gave an analogy in which he compared an egg hunt to reading the Word of God. Ladies, if you’re anything like me, there have been times when you simply are not motivated to search God’s Word every day, or even every week, because so much of it seems to have nothing to do with you. Is the Word of God simply a collection of “stories,” a good book with some interesting tidbits squished between irrelevant histories from two or three millennia ago? Or is there more? Like Indiana Jones, sometimes we have to be prepared to immerse ourselves in the hunt to find the real treasures hiding in the catacombs.

It’s important to know, first, that not a single account in Scripture is “not in there just for you.” As our Exegesis instructor showed us so vividly last semester, every passage, every portion is recorded because God had something specific to communicate to the original readers, and something equally specific to communicate to you and me centuries later. All we have to do is figure out what He was telling the original readers (Who was the book written to? When, and why? Consider the entire book in its purpose), how He told them (Is it in the form of poetry, history, law, prophecy or gospel?), then look for the principles that apply to us today. Even the most seemingly insignificant things can suddenly become of vital importance. What phrases pop up over and over (and over) throughout the book you are reading? Is God making a specific point by reiterating a phrase or keyword? Try to figure out what is different between you and the people who first received this inspired message. Consider things like which covenant they were under, when they lived and received the message, and what was going on at the time historically. What are some differences in regard to their culture when compared with ours? Discerning these differences will help you to discover both the message that God gave to them directly and the specific principles that apply to us today.

I know we are not preachers in a pulpit. That’s not the role God gave us as women. But preachers are instructed to use these kinds of methods when they study, because otherwise they run the risk of reading their own interpretations into the text instead of getting applications out of it. We need to learn to do the same thing. These are just a few ways that we can start getting more “out of it” when we study God’s Word. I promise that with practice things will begin leaping off the page. Happy hunting!