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Moments of actual silence are so rare when you have small kids. I don’t remember how to sit comfortably in silence anymore. Completing a task (or a sentence) is often difficult, and “hearing myself think” is a skill I’ve lost in the constant chatter of a preschooler’s conversation.
And yet, this has its benefits. It’s evidence that these little ones want to be around me, and they are interested in connecting with me. For them, no matter how busy the day will be for me, the bare minimum of my attention is something they absolutely require every day. But, it’s not really enough – they crave the rest of my time and attention, too. And that’s a good thing. It’s evidence of a thriving relationship.
I usually know what my kids are thinking – because we spend time together. They talk. They react. I know what bothers them, excites them, frightens them, or confuses them. There is a nearly constant stream of verbal and non-verbal communication between us. And the teaching moments basically never stop.
For instance, when an argument breaks out between my kids and they run to me with their complaints, I can usually point out the root of the argument and use it to expand their understanding of how life works. I often announce the “word of the day” based on what challenge they need to overcome at the moment.
One such example occurred when Silas became upset because Olivia had not read his mind and played the way he wanted her to. She later said she would have been willing, but hadn’t known what he had expected. So she became upset that Silas was upset, and the row had ensued.
Our word for that day was “assumption,” so I could explain that it’s never a good idea to assume someone knows what you want. And you certainly can’t get upset at them for not knowing it if you didn’t take time to communicate.
As a parent, these moments are critical to prepare them for the future, when the challenges they face will only grow more complex. I wouldn’t push away their arguments, or make them feel like their issues aren’t important, for the world. Because they need me!
They need my help to develop the skill of problem-solving and conflict-resolution now, so they can function independently later.
It’s a ton of work, but I’m so proud of them when they grow from these experiences. I’m even more proud when I overhear them sharing what they’ve learned with someone else.
Surely it’s the same for God when He watches His children grow.
But this makes me wonder: what would happen if my kids never spoke to me? Never came to me with their problems, or only ever complained without taking instruction from me? Even worse, what if my kids not only refused to spend time with me, but actually never acknowledged me at all?
Here I am, their parent. A fountain of knowledge and experience compared to what they have gained from their brief half-decade on this earth.
I am THE single, most available, beneficial resource for figuring out life’s lessons without having to graduate the School of Hard Knocks. And they just…ignore me.
Maybe they eat in their room, instead of at the dinner table. You could say that the bare minimum for acknowledging what I do for them would be to spend THAT time with me and act like they appreciate our relationship and be engaging.
Maybe they don’t want bedtime snuggles or fireside chats.
Years go by, and from experience, I would be able to surmise many of their struggles. But they don’t see any benefit to discussing them with me.
I want to celebrate their victories with them! But they brush off my words of congratulations as they walk in the door, go to their room, and jump on Facebook to share with the world… and continue to decline offers to include me in their lives.
The teen years pass and they become adults, and even parents themselves. But, they insist on pretending I’m not even here, and my heart is broken as they suffer from not knowing how to handle situations, becoming more and more frustrated. They lack the experience to help them avoid so many unnecessary pitfalls that make life harder than it has to be.
Perhaps some would say, “You should have been more assertive as a parent!” Yet we know from observing different families, that doesn’t always help. Sometimes, a loving, well-meaning parent who wants to engage their aloof child is met with defensiveness, not openness.
This begs the question – aren’t parents entitled to more of their kids’ time and attention than “the bare minimum?” By that, I mean to say, if the only time your kids noticed you was in an emergency, and maybe not even then, how would you feel?
Rejected? Unappreciated?
You brought them into this world, for heaven’s sake! Kept them alive when they were ENTIRELY helpless, nurturing their growth, and helped them get well when they were ill or injured!
You prepared a table of food, sitting there with an open heart, ready to hear about your child’s day, making yourself available to them for dialogue or just to enjoy being together.
3 times a day. At least.
Because you know they need it. They need encouragement when they have done well, and correction when they have not. They need comfort when they struggle and company when they are lonely. They can’t provide any of this input for themselves – it’s what family does! So you try to be there for them.
Such a small thing, communing over a meal. But it’s so tremendously needed so you can encourage them, educate them, comfort them through some heartaches and maybe spare them from others. And you need to be appreciated by them. But what if your children couldn’t even bring themselves to take advantage of this one thing, this special time of appreciating your relationship?
MANY DO NOT REALIZE…
…this is exactly how they treat their Heavenly Father.
Here are commonly asked questions regarding attendance of times of worship with the church.
“Is it a sin for me to not attend worship?”
The real question is: Is it too much to ask? For the Christian, this is the bare minimum of interaction as a family with His other children, getting all those inputs we can not provide for ourselves of comfort, correction, encouragement, and education. Beyond this, it’s a means of bringing God glory. It’s an expression to the world of your appreciation for the Savior’s sacrifice, a needed time of being filled with the Spirit, and evidence that a growing relationship with your Father is a priority for you.
“What’s in it for me if I give up my only morning to sleep in? What is the benefit of attending worship?”
God essentially has said, “If someone chooses the path to destruction, they literally do so over my dead body.” That’s intense.** Christ gave Himself as the sacrifice to deter you from destruction, and to grant you life instead of eternal torment. You have the benefit of centering your mind on that fact every week in the memorial of the Lord’s supper, in the songs, in the sermon, in prayer, and in your interactions with God’s children. It puts life into such clear perspective.
“I just don’t get anything out of it when I go.”
Then practice centering your mind on the purpose for being there. Beyond this, you’ll see what you get out of it only after a consistent habit is formed and you have had a chance to grow over time by practicing what you learn as the opportunities arise.
“If it’s all about God, then what DO I get out of it?”
Not much if the only thing you do is show up to be physically there without engaging with your mind and heart, and then leave. That’s not even the bare minimum He has asked of His children.
You see, over time, what you absorb from being with the church and worshiping God in neutral moments of your life will be your foundation for surviving times of turbulence. The relationship you develop with your family and with your Father will save you the trouble of going through struggles alone. It will discourage you from depending on people who are lost, who have themselves decided to go it alone, learning life’s lessons the hard way.
God, in His wisdom, for our benefit, has demanded His children have a commitment, not to “being religious,” but to being a faithful member of His church. You will stunt the growth of your relationship with Him and forfeit the aforementioned benefits if this is not a priority. A priceless resource that would help you navigate life’s ups and downs will remain untapped.
So what’s a girl to do?
Give God glory. Show Him appreciation. Sacrifice a morning of sleeping in or scrolling social media. Face the struggle to get kids out the door to worship, even if you have to do it alone – because their precious hearts need the benefits just as much as you do! It’s so worth it. Your kids deserve to begin learning as early as possible, that Jesus died for them, too. And God deserves their recognition and attention as much as He deserves yours.
Rather than begrudging God the attention and honor He deserves in this thing He has commanded, let’s change our attitude about meeting with the church and worshiping Him. Let it be a “get to,” not a “have to.”
Our challenge is to recognize that those brief hours on the first day of the week truly are not “the whole duty of man,” but instead the bare minimum. May we never settle for doing – or refuse to do – the bare minimum for our God. Let’s do it with joy. And look for more to do for His glory. Make it a priority to show up, ready to learn, grow, share, and express our appreciation for all to see.
What follows is a guide to marking your Bible with verses that you can memorize to help you grow in your understanding of this topic, or to help someone else who is struggling with their commitment to the church.
Beyond what we already mentioned from an emotional mother’s point of view, what does the Bible say about the Christian’s commitment to the church?
Colossians 1:17-18 – “He [Christ] is before all things and in Him all things hold together. He is also the Head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.”
Ephesians 2:19-22 – “So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.
1 Corinthians 12:14-27 – This section is long, but it labors the point and it’s message is worth reading: You are a needed part of the church!!! God has said so, and you can’t argue that it’s not true. Don’t deny the church a necessary “body part.” Be there for the church. Do the work you can do. No one can replace you!
Finally, John 15:8 – “My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples.”
What other benefits come from a commitment to the church? What other Scriptures talk about this aspect of being a Christian? Feel free to share in the comments below!
Thanks for reading!
**Credit: Kyle Butt, Apologetics Press – “A Loving God, and an Eternal Hell.”
What kind of a heart is God looking for? Our words and actions demonstrate who we really are inside, and I was very struck by this section of Scripture – especially by the last part. How do I choose to use my mouth, my tongue, my heart, my prayers – me? To honor God, or to say “it’s my life, I’ll do what I want,” one or the other.
In Psalm 66, the inspired writer says,
Shout joyfully to God, all the earth;
Sing the glory of His name;
Make His praise glorious.
Say to God, “How awesome are your works!
Because of the greatness of Your power Your enemies will give feigned obedience to You.
All the earth will worship You,
And they will sing praises to You;
They will sing praises to Your name. Selah.
That word Selah directs the reader/listener to pause and think about what has just been said. So let’s do it. Notice that he instructs all of creation to praise God and declare the awesomeness of His works. Even those who do not actually love God have to give the appearance of obedience because there is no mistaking His power. Even the most apathetic, unconcerned individual will make an appeal to their Maker when they find themselves in a really bad situation because they know He’s the only One who can help them. Reality check #1: Does God only come to mind when I’m in a mess and need help, or am I continually talking about how awesome His works are regardless of my circumstances?
Come and see the works of God,
Who is awesome in His deeds toward the sons of men.
He turned the sea into dry land;
They passed through the river on foot;
There let us rejoice in Him!
He rules by His might forever;
His eyes keep watch on the nations;
Let not the rebellious exalt themselves. Selah.
There it is again – Selah. So let’s recap. God has been awesome in His deeds toward mankind. No question there – the writer brings to mind the account of the exodus as an example: over 2 million ex-slaves loaded with the wealth of the Egyptians made it safely to the other side of the Red Sea because God acted on their behalf (Exodus 1-15). Even the godless nations who were to be conquered by said ex-slaves shook in their boots at the mention of God and His people because of this amazing event (Joshua 2:9-11). Because of this, the writer says, “Let not the rebellious exalt themselves.” Reality check #2: Do the historical events recorded in the Bible give me a better understanding of the immense power and purpose of the Almighty God, or am I the sum of all things in my own sight?
Bless our God, O peoples,
And sound His praise abroad,
Who keeps us in life
And does not allow our feet to slip.
For You have tried us, O God;
You have refined us as silver is refined.
You brought us into the net;
You laid an oppressive burden upon our loins.
You made men ride over our heads;
We went through fire and through water,
Yet You brought us out into a place of abundance.
I shall come into Your house with burnt offerings;
I shall pay You my vows,
Which my lips uttered
And my mouth spoke when I was in distress.
I shall offer to You burnt offerings of fat beasts,
With the smoke of rams;
I shall make an offering of bulls with male goats. Selah.
Wow. This sounds a little extreme – being refined as silver? Silver refining is a process of using intense heat to bring out and eliminate the impurities in the silver. Notice that God was acknowledged as being there when these people were struggling! The writer speaks of being tried by God: God allowed His people to undergo very difficult situations in order to test their resolve to serve Him. This man cried out to Him and made requests for His help with vows of service. The end result was that they were brought “into a place of abundance.” And here is where we see the quality of heart in this person: he did not forget God simply because he was no longer in trouble! On the contrary, the first thing on His mind is to go to the house of God to offer a sacrifice of worship to Him! What promises did he make in exchange for God’s help? Now it was time to honor those promises, and he was anxious to do so. Reality check #3: Is it my first response to show honor to God when He brings me through a difficult situation, or do I breathe a sigh of relief and go about my life like nothing happened?
And now for my favorite part:
Come and hear, all who fear God,
And I will tell of what He has done for my soul.
I cried to Him with my mouth,
And He was extolled with my tongue.
If I regard wickedness in my heart,
The Lord will not hear;
But certainly God has heard;
He has given heed to the voice of my prayer.
Blessed be God,
Who has not turned away from my prayer
Nor His lovingkindness from me.
Now the writer gets personal. Notice all the personal pronouns: MY soul, MY mouth, MY tongue, MY heart, MY prayer – ME. This man was practicing what he preached. He would tell others about his personal experience of the mercy of God. He also points out that people who insist on harboring wicked intentions can call on God all they want but their prayers will be of no benefit to them. God looks for a heart that desires to honor Him in word and action… and for a people who will follow through on that desire. Reality check #4: Can this be said of me?
When babies are born, are they inherently evil, or are they innocent? A baby certainly seems to have a “selfish” nature, and on particularly difficult days we may be tempted to say the little thing has a demon! To some, the Psalms are a source of confusion concerning people and the condition in which they are born. Did David teach the doctrine of “original sin” – or could he even make up his mind about the matter? It is easy to get confused at first glance when reading his writings. Take the following, for example:
“The wicked are estranged from the womb; These who speak lies go astray from birth.” (Psalm 58:3)
“Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin my mother conceived me.” (Psalm 51:5)
From other areas of the same book, we get the opposite message. Notice the interesting comparison:
“Yet you are He who brought me forth from the womb; You made me trust when upon my mother’s breasts. Upon You I have been cast from birth; You have been my God from my mother’s womb.” (Psalm 22:9-10)
“For you are my hope; O Lord God; You are my confidence from my youth. By You I have been sustained from my birth; You are He who took me from my mother’s womb; My praise is continually of You.” (Psalm 71:5-6)
If we only looked at these verses, it would seem like the relationship was rather “on/off” between infants and the Lord God. What is the truth of the matter? Are we estranged from God due to wickedness straight from the womb, or are we held close by God from the beginning?
The answer has to come from taking a closer look at the context in which these statements are made: the Psalms. When we look at this book exegetically, we notice many things. One is this book is chalk full of exaggerations. In 69:14, David talks about his troubles being “deep waters,” a “flood,” and a“pit” shutting its “mouth” over him. Wow. This is a dramatic, but accurate accounting for how this man was feeling at the moment. Even in 71:20 he expresses anticipation of God bringing him up “from the depths of the earth.” These things are obviously not literal – the inspired writer is expressing man’s heart using recognizable figurative language.
We have to understand that the Holy Spirit inspired men to write in legitimate, existing literary forms. Poetry is one such form. This is a poetic writing, and it needs to be interpreted as such. Look again at Psalm 51. Verses 1 through 4 give us an immediate context in which to interpret verse 5:
“Wash ME thoroughly from MY iniquity and cleanse ME from MY sin. For I know MY transgressions, and MY sin is ever before ME. Against You, You only, I have sinned and done what is evil in Your sight.”
Look at all of the possessive pronouns here – David was expressing one thought: I blew it. This was all my fault. When he says he was brought forth in iniquity, he expressed what each of us has felt at one time or another: I can’t do anything right – I’ve been a failure from the beginning! But verses 1-4 help us understand the source of this deep, personal dissatisfaction. As a man, David had great victories – he also made serious mistakes with serious consequences. His conscience worked and he was intellectually capable of claiming responsibility for the mess he was in, which is a difficult thing to come to terms with emotionally.
Now that we understand the impact that literary form has on interpreting these Scriptures, let’s broaden our perspective to include a different, more directly insightful kind of literature. Ecclesiastes is classified as “wisdom literature.” In this book, the Preacher has a pessimistic tone, but this is not due to a pricked conscience – it springs from his very accurate observations of life and the doings of men. After analyzing these particular verses from the Psalms, I want us to compare them with the statement found in Ecclesiastes 7:29:
“Behold, I have found only this, that God made men upright, but they have sought out many devices.”
Wow. Way to clear things up for us, Preacher. There is no misunderstanding his point: in this book, we learn God’s definitions of wisdom, accomplishment, folly, and vanity. This particular verse would be the definition of a waste. God creates men in an upright condition. They are born with all the potential in the world to be useful to Him and pleasing. But as we grow, we allow ourselves to be distracted by useless or harmful forms of self-gratification, and we choose to indulge in them instead of living up to our potential.
This is the condition in which we find the Psalmist as he writes his woeful dirge, mourning his innocence.
We need not become confused by this man’s seemingly up-and-down relationship with God. On the contrary – this is a source of personal comfort! When I have “blown it” so severely that it seems like I have been doomed to failure from the start… I can read the Psalms to remind myself that God rescues me, even from myself. There will be good days again – I will acknowledge my sin to Him and rest confidently in the arms of my God once more.
Remember these things as you read David’s words, and turn to the Psalms for comfort when you hit a “road bump” in your walk with God. The Holy Spirit has proved that He knows what you’re feeling, and He has preserved these words to help you get through. Hang in there, ladies!
Do you ever feel like you’re going insane trying to keep up with the hectic world you live in? Me, too. As a matter of fact, I start wondering how I went from allowing the Spirit to help me foster love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control to having… an empty tank and fumes. And it can go from one to the other in a matter of hours. The world is a tricky place for a Christian to be “in, but not of.” As a result of having about a week of not much success in this area, I decided I needed to go back to the basics. How does the fruit of the Spirit grow within us? We have “crucified the flesh with its passions and desires,” we live by the Spirit, and we walk by the Spirit (Galatians 5:24-25). But how? We allow God to guide us by staying rooted in His word and doing what it says, always evaluating our spiritual walk and helping others to do the same. In keeping with this theme of study, I wanted to share a good supplimental thought. The following song helped me identify weaknesses in myself and my hope is that it will be as helpful for you.
Take time to be holy, Speak oft’ with thy Lord;
Abide in Him always, And feed on His word.
Make friends of God’s children, Help those who are weak;
Forgetting in nothing, His blessing to seek.
Take time to be holy, The world rushes on;
Spend much time in secret With Jesus alone.
By looking to Jesus, Like Him thou shalt be;
Thy friends in thy conduct His likeness shall see.
Take time to be holy, Let him be thy Guide;
And run not before Him, Whatever be-tide.
In joy or in sorrow, Still follow thy Lord;
And looking to Jesus, Still trust in His word.
Take time to be holy, Be clam in thy soul;
Each thought and each motive Beneath His control
Thus lead by His Spirit To fountains of love
Thou soon shalt be fitted For service above.
“Take Time to be Holy” by William D. Longstaff, 1874
How does God handle our attempts to honor Him when we’re not quite sure of what He’s expecting from us? Will we be acceptable as long as we’re sincere? Let’s take a lesson from a very early example:
In Genesis 4, we are introduced to a man who sought to bring to God something he personally valued. Cain was a tiller of the ground, in contrast to his brother Abel, who was a keeper of flocks (Genesis 4:3). The crops brought forth by the sweat of Cain’s brow were the first thing he thought to offer to God. It makes sense, doesn’t it? There is debate about whether God had already communicated to them about what He desired in the form of sacrifice. But one way or the other, this first attempt to please God with what each brother desired to bring Him sheds a lot of light on how God deals with worship attempts that are “right on target” and those that aren’t.
Notice that Cain was the first to bring an offering to the Lord. He wasn’t trying to “one-up” or compete with his brother – he was sincerely seeking to please the Lord. It says that the Lord “had regard for Abel and his offering.” The Hebrew word for “regard” literally means “look toward.” The offering that Abel gave got God’s attention, as it were. But it says that “for Cain and for his offering He had no regard.” Try to picture it in your mind. God is a parent who is aware that His two children have each come to Him, saying eagerly, “Father, I brought you something!” Cain arrives first… and God doesn’t look in his direction. Abel arrives next and God smiles, showing appreciation for the gift.
Wait a minute, though… how is that fair? If Cain is a tiller of the ground, what does God expect? Here is the key. God gives Cain a chance to understand in verses 6 and 7:
‘The LORD said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.”‘
The reason God did not show appreciation for Cain’s offering is that He desired something else: an offering from the flock. The neat part about this is that God did not condemn Cain’s offering… He just didn’t accept it. This becomes very applicable to every generation that would follow Cain: we do not show love for God when we only offer to Him what WE would desire or expect. We demonstrate true love for God when we take the time to find out what it is HE desires and expects! What would have happened if Cain had said, “Ooooh, I get it. Okay, Father!” and came back with an offering of sheep? This is profound, ladies! This is why I get frustrated when people say that worshiping with a band up front is simply a matter of our preference, or that we can assemble to worship on Saturday if it’s more convenient for us than on the first day of the week as we find in Scripture. If we do not “do well” (a.k.a. learn from our error instead of continuing in error), sin is sneaking up on us because we are seeking to meet our own expectations and not God’s. Not a big deal? What about Cain? Let’s take a look at Cain’s response and see if we can learn why this is such a big deal:
“Cain spoke to Abel his brother. And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him.” (4:8).
Why did this happen? It was the proof: Cain’s first error provided a moment of decision for him. He could either humble himself and correct his error, choosing to make the necessary changes to honor God, or he could become defensive and not change. “But why isn’t my offering as good as Abel’s? That isn’t fair!” It’s very clear how quickly we become the “victims” when we are not accepted “just as we are.” When we are expected to make a change, the positive aspect of improvement is forgotten when we choose to look at it with Cain’s attitude. Notice that God did not reject Cain – His words in verse 6 make this evident: “If you do well, will you not be accepted?” This is future tense! God rejected his worship, but was not denying him the opportunity to do the right thing. Rather, He was showing how willing He was to accept him if he learned from his mistake.
We know the rest of the historical event. Cain killed his brother Abel. It was the proof of God’s statement – if we are unwilling to learn from an honest mistake, sin is the next step in the natural progression. Consider it a practical psychology lesson from God.
This is the lesson: be teachable. Do not view correction, rebuke, or even gentle reproof as a rejection of who you are. If we play the victim and choose to remain as we are, we display Cain’s attitude – the attitude that says “This is just the way I am! I shouldn’t have to change anything about myself!” Blatantly refusing to change who we are to conform to our Creator’s expectations is the launch pad for all kinds of sinful behavior. Attitudes like this are the reason we have so much pain to deal with in the world. Cain bore a punishment that was painful to him; God pulled everything he cherished out of his life and made him a fugitive. Eve lost a son, and her words in verse 25 show that Cain’s actions hurt more than just himself: “God has appointed for me another offspring instead of Abel, for Cain killed him.”
We should not be surprised when we learn we are not perfect. God doesn’t condemn us for not being perfect – the purpose of the Scriptures is to help us identify imperfections so we can correct them. God helps us in our walk with Him, testifying about when we do the right thing and pointing it out to us when we do not. Here’s the application: when you read God’s Word and you discover an attitude, action or behavior in your life that is contrary to what you read about God’s expectations, don’t play the victim and get defensive or argumentative! Choose to make a change. Be proactive. Listen to His favorable statements about those who did well. Choose to imitate them and enjoy the blessing of acceptance.
“By faith Abel offered to God a better sacrifice than Cain, through which he obtained the testimony that he was righteous, God testifying about his gifts, and through faith, though he is dead, he still speaks.” – Hebrews 11:4
The book of Philippians speaks so strongly on one of the top 5 things that I struggle with in my efforts to be God’s woman. Unity. As a teenager I used to think that whomever I married when I grew up was in for a life of misery. We would never get along. My siblings and I certainly never seemed to. If I couldn’t get along with my brothers and sister, how was I ever going to have the proper relationship with the guy who would become my roommate and closest companion? Even best friends have issues when they’ve spent one too many nights sleeping over at each others’ houses.
Thankfully, my relationships with my siblings have vastly improved as we’ve grown older, and my fears for my marriage… they’ve proved useful. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that I have knock-down drag-outs with my husband or anything. But the fear of the possibility of any disunity motivated me to get a few things straight before I entered that covenant relationship. I encourage every girl to pass up the heartache of learning these things the hard way. If you want your relationship with your mate, your siblings, with friends, and even with strangers to be uplifting, spiritual healthy and not full of worldly discord, know that it’s up to you to make it happen! The apostle Paul wrote a letter to two women in the church who were having some serious issues acting like the sisters-in-Christ that they were. Compare these with your own attitude toward others: how unified are you?
#1 – Imitate Me (Paul). Consider others as more important than yourselves. “For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain…yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake.” (1:21, 24) Paul wanted to go to heaven, but for their sake, he lived the life that he did. For whom do you live, and why?
2 – Imitate Christ. Remember that “although He existed in the form of God,” (2:6) He didn’t selfishly treat that glory like something to clutch to His chest, grasping, never letting go of it. He emptied Himself, becoming a man and dying the most undignified, horrible death for us. What do you have a hard time letting go of because of pride – and does it compare with Christ’s sacrifice of heaven when He came to Earth?
#3 – Imitate Timothy. Be genuinely concerned for the welfare of others.
#4 – Imitate Epaphroditus. “He came close to death for the work of Christ, risking his life to complete what was deficient in your service to me.” Do you serve others to such a degree? Is it important enough to you to minister to another’s need at any cost?
The two women in Philippi needed a reality check: What was more important? Their egos, or the cause of Christ? If you are concerned about your relationships, take Paul’s Reality Check quiz, and find out how you can more closely align your attitude with these four unequaled examples. Fear is a good motivator, and knowledge with determination is the key to successfully overcoming those fears. Let’s go girls.
May God bless your relationships. Amen.
An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life. — Proverbs 31:10-12
Has anyone else wondered how on earth we even start aspiring to be this woman? And why should we even try? Of course there are benefits to having such character, but how do we get there? Is it worth the effort?
Our introduction to this woman is what really stands out to me. In the verses to follow, we learn that our leading lady is proactive in providing for her family, generous to the poor, and hard-working in order to contribute to the household in goods and income. And what does all of this mean to her husband?
HIS HEART TRUSTS IN HER.
“No lack of gain” could mean many things, but judging from the rest of this biography it has to do with handling material things, the care of their children, her self-esteem and her regard for him.
She is not being idle or consuming without contributing. He can trust her to do whatever she wishes with her material goods, because she is discerning and prudent. Their children are diligently cared for, and she has worked hard to provide for them and to prepare for the future. She takes care of herself, having strengthened her arms and made her own clothing. His own reputation in public circles benefits from her efforts. Wow. This is a woman on a mission!
SHE DOES HIM GOOD, NOT EVIL – ALL THE DAYS OF HER LIFE.
This is probably the most powerful statement in this biography. Women today as a group have the reputation of being manipulative, self-seeking — some even domineering and argumentative. But, in a stark contrast, what does this woman accomplish? EVERY DAY she does her husband good and not evil. She is actively seeking to cause him gain and good, to manage his household well, and to clothe herself with strength and dignity. This is definitely a woman worth more than jewels.
SUCH A WOMAN, WHO CAN FIND?
In the end, to be an excellent wife, is impossible without 2 things: fear of the Lord and a husband. We already talked last time about how to catch one of those – one that would truly appreciate this kind of woman. To fear the Lord is the beginning of knowledge (Proverbs 1:7), and it is also the only thing that would motivate someone to work that hard to be a blessing to their spouse. Her reward? Blessings money could never buy and no shopping trip could compare with. The ability to smile at the future. Children who rise up and call her blessed. And the praise of her husband:
Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all.”
This could be your future. Does it sound worth it? Go for it… make it happen!
What's a Girl to Do? 