Moments of actual silence are so rare when you have small kids. I don’t remember how to sit comfortably in silence anymore. Completing a task (or a sentence) is often difficult, and “hearing myself think” is a skill I’ve lost in the constant chatter of a preschooler’s conversation.

And yet, this has its benefits. It’s evidence that these little ones want to be around me, and they are interested in connecting with me. For them, no matter how busy the day will be for me, the bare minimum of my attention is something they absolutely require every day. But, it’s not really enough – they crave the rest of my time and attention, too. And that’s a good thing. It’s evidence of a thriving relationship.

I usually know what my kids are thinking – because we spend time together. They talk. They react. I know what bothers them, excites them, frightens them, or confuses them. There is a nearly constant stream of verbal and non-verbal communication between us. And the teaching moments basically never stop.

For instance, when an argument breaks out between my kids and they run to me with their complaints, I can usually point out the root of the argument and use it to expand their understanding of how life works. I often announce the “word of the day” based on what challenge they need to overcome at the moment.

One such example occurred when Silas became upset because Olivia had not read his mind and played the way he wanted her to. She later said she would have been willing, but hadn’t known what he had expected. So she became upset that Silas was upset, and the row had ensued.

Our word for that day was “assumption,” so I could explain that it’s never a good idea to assume someone knows what you want. And you certainly can’t get upset at them for not knowing it if you didn’t take time to communicate.

As a parent, these moments are critical to prepare them for the future, when the challenges they face will only grow more complex. I wouldn’t push away their arguments, or make them feel like their issues aren’t important, for the world. Because they need me! 

They need my help to develop the skill of problem-solving and conflict-resolution now, so they can function independently later.

It’s a ton of work, but I’m so proud of them when they grow from these experiences. I’m even more proud when I overhear them sharing what they’ve learned with someone else.

Surely it’s the same for God when He watches His children grow.

But this makes me wonder: what would happen if my kids never spoke to me? Never came to me with their problems, or only ever complained without taking instruction from me? Even worse, what if my kids not only refused to spend time with me, but actually never acknowledged me at all?

Here I am, their parent. A fountain of knowledge and experience compared to what they have gained from their brief half-decade on this earth.

I am THE single, most available, beneficial resource for figuring out life’s lessons without having to graduate the School of Hard Knocks. And they just…ignore me.

Maybe they eat in their room, instead of at the dinner table. You could say that the bare minimum for acknowledging what I do for them would be to spend THAT time with me and act like they appreciate our relationship and be engaging.

Maybe they don’t want bedtime snuggles or fireside chats.

Years go by, and from experience, I would be able to surmise many of their struggles. But they don’t see any benefit to discussing them with me.

I want to celebrate their victories with them! But they brush off my words of congratulations as they walk in the door, go to their room, and jump on Facebook to share with the world… and continue to decline offers to include me in their lives.

The teen years pass and they become adults, and even parents themselves. But, they insist on pretending I’m not even here, and my heart is broken as they suffer from not knowing how to handle situations, becoming more and more frustrated. They lack the experience to help them avoid so many unnecessary pitfalls that make life harder than it has to be.

Perhaps some would say, “You should have been more assertive as a parent!” Yet we know from observing different families, that doesn’t always help. Sometimes, a loving, well-meaning parent who wants to engage their aloof child is met with defensiveness, not openness.

This begs the question – aren’t parents entitled to more of their kids’ time and attention than “the bare minimum?” By that, I mean to say, if the only time your kids noticed you was in an emergency, and maybe not even then, how would you feel?

Rejected? Unappreciated?

You brought them into this world, for heaven’s sake! Kept them alive when they were ENTIRELY helpless, nurturing their growth, and helped them get well when they were ill or injured!

You prepared a table of food, sitting there with an open heart, ready to hear about your child’s day, making yourself available to them for dialogue or just to enjoy being together.

3 times a day. At least.

Because you know they need it. They need encouragement when they have done well, and correction when they have not. They need comfort when they struggle and company when they are lonely. They can’t provide any of this input for themselves – it’s what family does! So you try to be there for them.

Such a small thing, communing over a meal. But it’s so tremendously needed so you can encourage them, educate them, comfort them through some heartaches and maybe spare them from others. And you need to be appreciated by them. But what if your children couldn’t even bring themselves to take advantage of this one thing, this special time of appreciating your relationship?

MANY DO NOT REALIZE…

…this is exactly how they treat their Heavenly Father.

Here are commonly asked questions regarding attendance of times of worship with the church.

“Is it a sin for me to not attend worship?”

The real question is: Is it too much to ask? For the Christian, this is the bare minimum of interaction as a family with His other children, getting all those inputs we can not provide for ourselves of comfort, correction, encouragement, and education. Beyond this, it’s a means of bringing God glory. It’s an expression to the world of your appreciation for the Savior’s sacrifice, a needed time of being filled with the Spirit, and evidence that a growing relationship with your Father is a priority for you.

“What’s in it for me if I give up my only morning to sleep in? What is the benefit of attending worship?”

God essentially has said, “If someone chooses the path to destruction, they literally do so over my dead body.” That’s intense.** Christ gave Himself as the sacrifice to deter you from destruction, and to grant you life instead of eternal torment. You have the benefit of centering your mind on that fact every week in the memorial of the Lord’s supper, in the songs, in the sermon, in prayer, and in your interactions with God’s children. It puts life into such clear perspective.

“I just don’t get anything out of it when I go.”

Then practice centering your mind on the purpose for being there. Beyond this, you’ll see what you get out of it only after a consistent habit is formed and you have had a chance to grow over time by practicing what you learn as the opportunities arise.

“If it’s all about God, then what DO I get out of it?”

Not much if the only thing you do is show up to be physically there without engaging with your mind and heart, and then leave. That’s not even the bare minimum He has asked of His children.

You see, over time, what you absorb from being with the church and worshiping God in neutral moments of your life will be your foundation for surviving times of turbulence. The relationship you develop with your family and with your Father will save you the trouble of going through struggles alone. It will discourage you from depending on people who are lost, who have themselves decided to go it alone, learning life’s lessons the hard way.

God, in His wisdom, for our benefit, has demanded His children have a commitment, not to “being religious,” but to being a faithful member of His church. You will stunt the growth of your relationship with Him and forfeit the aforementioned benefits if this is not a priority. A priceless resource that would help you navigate life’s ups and downs will remain untapped.

So what’s a girl to do?

Give God glory. Show Him appreciation. Sacrifice a morning of sleeping in or scrolling social media. Face the struggle to get kids out the door to worship, even if you have to do it alone – because their precious hearts need the benefits just as much as you do! It’s so worth it. Your kids deserve to begin learning as early as possible, that Jesus died for them, too. And God deserves their recognition and attention as much as He deserves yours.

Rather than begrudging God the attention and honor He deserves in this thing He has commanded, let’s change our attitude about meeting with the church and worshiping Him. Let it be a “get to,” not a “have to.”

Our challenge is to recognize that those brief hours on the first day of the week truly are not “the whole duty of man,” but instead the bare minimum. May we never settle for doing – or refuse to do – the bare minimum for our God. Let’s do it with joy. And look for more to do for His glory. Make it a priority to show up, ready to learn, grow, share, and express our appreciation for all to see.

What follows is a guide to marking your Bible with verses that you can memorize to help you grow in your understanding of this topic, or to help someone else who is struggling with their commitment to the church.

Beyond what we already mentioned from an emotional mother’s point of view, what does the Bible say about the Christian’s commitment to the church?

Colossians 1:17-18 – “He [Christ] is before all things and in Him all things hold together. He is also the Head of the body, the church; and He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, so that He Himself will come to have first place in everything.”

Ephesians 2:19-22 – “So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.

1 Corinthians 12:14-27 – This section is long, but it labors the point and it’s message is worth reading: You are a needed part of the church!!! God has said so, and you can’t argue that it’s not true. Don’t deny the church a necessary “body part.” Be there for the church. Do the work you can do. No one can replace you!

Finally, John 15:8 – “My Father is glorified by this, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples.”

What other benefits come from a commitment to the church? What other Scriptures talk about this aspect of being a Christian? Feel free to share in the comments below!

Thanks for reading!

**Credit: Kyle Butt, Apologetics Press – “A Loving God, and an Eternal Hell.”